I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
