i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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