My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
