i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize