lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize