we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
