its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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