The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
