but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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