whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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