We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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