We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
