Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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