I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
