I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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