Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
