Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
