I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.