oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
