"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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