somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.