Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize