I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
