This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
