I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
