i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
