How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i love accidental penises.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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