if you like me you must not know who I am
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
