When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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