I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
