David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
