Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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