my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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