she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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