I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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