sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
