i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize