Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
