he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
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just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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