Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
