So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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