YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
40s are totally the cure
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
