Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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