Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
