im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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