i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
