It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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