we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize