Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
