I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
