my sisters under your porch take her home
My pussy is not your playground.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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