Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
