fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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