We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law