You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind