So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary