hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS