Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer