im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I love having hate sex.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
