roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
