so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
