You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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