This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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