too bad you live with your parents still
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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