He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
