That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sorry about my life...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
