I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
