i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
