I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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