Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
