Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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