So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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