Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
