I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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